19 WAYS TO GET REAL-How & Why To Be More Authentic In A Fake World

“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”

Living In A Fake World, We Crave Authenticity

Authenticity is immensely valued more than ever these days. We are surrounded by fake news and social media facades. Think about it. Many are so caught up following the crowd they have become consumed by it. Being our own authentic self may feel precarious when you want to fit in, be accepted, and liked by others. 

We live in a society engorged with superficiality, where sex sells, morals are not what they used to be and greed trumps values.  Yet we still want to be accepted and to fit in, it’s human nature. So how are we to be authentic in such a dysfunctional world?

Based on living in a fake world, we all crave transparency and authenticity in general because we seek the truth. Our current political and social climate, in particular, encourages us to root for honesty in brands, organizations, government, news, and people. 

Social Media- LET’S GET REAL!

Millennials, in particular, struggle with identifying with authenticity because so much time goes into curating the perfect share-worthy social media post. Consumed with procreating their own’ ideal self,’ not their own ‘real-self.’

As a result, the image projected (on social media) is how we think we should be perceived and not who we are. I believe humans would rather be themselves than wander around wearing a mask, but it takes mindfulness and self-reflection to take the necessary steps to become transparent. It’s up to us to be authentic, it’s a choice. 

Social media encourages superficiality, competition, and peer pressure to further mold us into someone we want others to believe we are, while all the while it is somewhat out of focus with who we really are. As a result,  it molds our attitudes and behaviors. We adapt and move away from being our authentic self. We need to identify that we are adapting. 

Based on this, we have identified nineteen ways you can be more authentic, transparent and the best version of yourself by making conscious choices every day. 

When we open the door for us to be seen, and not worry so much about how we are perceived, it starts to build a foundation for inner strength. Hey, it’s not easy to let down our guard. It takes lots of courage and strength for us to open up and show our vulnerable side to people. But when we do, others begin to see our authentic selves.

When you can show your vulnerability, you can develop deep relationships. With every personal exchange and interaction, we have the opportunity to enjoy connecting with others. 

Let’s all be more vulnerable and real… 

how and why to be more authentic in a fake world

Research suggests that more authentic people are happier

When we can be more vulnerable, we are more likely to be happy. As you would expect, research has determined that more authentic people are more comfortable? In one study, researchers found that people who scored higher on a measure of authentic living reported greater happiness, more positive emotions, and higher self-esteem than people who reported being less authentic. More authentic people also reported having better relationships with others and more personal growth. 

How would you describe authenticity?

For me, an authentic person is comfortable, transparent, and easy to talk to. They look directly into your eyes, and their smile is genuine. This type of person is not afraid to be vulnerable. When you are with this person, it feels similar to throwing a warm cozy blanket around your naked shoulders as you immediately exhale and relax.  You can rely on this person to be consistent each time you meet. This type of person is often described as “real” and “the salt of the earth.” 

Genuine People Have More Friends

As humans, we recognize a sincere smile as opposed to a polite smile or gesture. Ultimately, humans are drawn to authenticity, making us feel comfortable, safe, connected, and respected. These particular types of people have more friends. It makes sense, right? 

Being characterized by someone as ‘the salt of the earth’ is a magnificent compliment… it means that you are regarded as open and unpretentious. The expression is a Biblical in origin (Mathew 5:14), and it is believed that the use of ‘salt’ in the expression is a reference to the value of salt, which was quite a valued commodity back then. Also, adding salt to something adds seasoning and flavor. 

Wouldn’t it be nice to be known as authentic, real, transparent, and ‘salt of the earth’? Being authentic is a personal trait that takes time to evolve. Because developing emotional intelligence is a slow process.

What is emotional intelligence?

So what is emotional intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the ability to identify, use, understand, and manage emotions in an effective and positive way. A high EQ helps individuals to communicate better, reduce their anxiety and stress, defuse conflicts, improve relationships, empathize with others, and effectively overcome life’s challenges. 

Since developing emotional intelligence takes time, so does becoming more authentic. It doesn’t happen overnight.  It’s actually a lifetime process. As we age, we learn to cherish who we are. We develop informed ideas about life. The more life struggles we have, the more we can appreciate the blessings in life. 

For Most Humans, Our Authentic Self Is Buried Within Our Unconscious

I can totally relate to that. The older I become the less I care about what people think about me. In fact, I rarely ever spend time thinking about what others think of me anymore at all, thank God! 

Learning to love ourselves is part of the process towards being more authentic. None of us are close to being perfect, but we all have the ability to remove any pretenses and facades from our repertoires. It takes focus, effort, compassion and empathy to do this but it is absolutely feasible.  

For most humans, our authentic self is buried within our unconscious. It is our goal to look within to identify who we really are. It takes time and it takes digging to identify who we are. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, that’s what makes the world special. 

EMBRACE WHO YOU ARE- YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF

In order to identify your authenticity, Tchiki Davis, Ph.D. says it’s critical to discover your “Authentic Self”—the self that prioritizes living according to your values, pursuing your purpose, and fighting for the causes you care about.  

What if maybe, just maybe everyone would learn to embrace who they are, to be open and free about sharing their vulnerabilities and appreciating the differences in others? What if everyone was honest and open-minded and genuinely took time to care for others? 

Wouldn’t that be something if we all felt more connected with one another?  We all would be the much better versions of our own authentic self! Remember it’s a choice we can all make, so let’s all show up and be real! 

“Go and love someone exactly as they are.
Then, watch how they transform into the greatest versions of themselves. When one feels seen and apprecaited in thier own essence, one is instantly empowered. “

 

Happy- be authentic-in-a-fake-world

19 EASY WAYS to BE MORE AUTHENTIC

  1. Be Mindful And Live In The Present. Authentic people set time aside to meditate, pray and or reflect so they can embrace life more fully. Authentic people are mindful and take things moment by moment. Understand that life is struggle so make the most of our short lives here.
  2. Don’t Be Timid To Convey Your Point Of View in a dignified manner. Even if your opinion varies from others, be open and discuss your view and be open minded.
  3. Listen To Your Gut. People who are authentic listen to their inner self and are not driven by external circumstances. Be true to yourself.
  4. Appreciate Your Individual Traits As Well As Others. Be proud of the person you are.
  5. Walk Your Talk! Authentic people are high-character individuals who don’t just “talk the talk,” they also “walk the walk.”  So with that in mind, back up your positive, words with actions.Be true to yourself and do what you say you’re going to do. make a genuine effort to follow through on commitments. If you can’t do something, just say no. You don’t want to be known as flaky.
  6. When You Communicate To Someone, Think Deeper Than Trivial Gossip, Ask Candid Questions. This requires keen emotional intelligence. Be kind and help others. When you help others, it fills your soul. When you have compassion for others, you will develop a deeper soul.
  7. Don’t Be Passive Aggressive. How do you know when you are passive aggressive? Do you often find yourself sulking when you are unhappy with someone else? Do you avoid people with whom you are upset?Do you ever stop talking to people when you are angry at them?Do you put off doing things as a way to punish others?Do you sometimes use sarcasm to avoid engaging in meaningful conversations?
  8. Always Admit When You Are Wrong. Authentic people do not judge others for making mistakes because they know very well that everyone makes mistakes. Recognize mistakes are to be learned from and are a precious tool for success.
  9. Value Experiences In life Over Material Things.  
  10. Be A Great Listener. If you listen closely, you will learn something new about someone and will become fascinated and interested in everybody’s distinctions.
  11. Don’t  Judge Others and look beyond the external facade of words and appearances.
  12. Don’t Complain and take full responsibility for your life. Own it!
  13. Work Hard To Build Your Self-Esteem. If you do, you will appear confident because you have nothing to hide and people will trust you more.
  14. Always Be Thinking About What you Can Do For Others.  Helping others makes you feel better about yourself.
  15. Be Forgiving. Let go of all negative thoughts and anger and don’t hold grudges. It’s hard, but it’s worth it.
  16. Don’t Get Agitated When Someone Dislikes You. Just allow others to form whatever opinions they wish to have. We will never click with everyone and thats okay.
  17. Be Honest With Yourself then you will naturally be honest with others.  Be gracious with your honesty but don’t hold back.
  18. Put Away Your Phone. Nothing turns someone off to you like a mid-conversation text message or even a quick glance at your phone. When genuine people commit to a conversation, they focus all of their energy on the conversation. So have good eye contact with the person you are talking to.
  19.  Learn To Laugh At Yourself!  

What can we do as parents?

As a parent, I feel it’s critical to talk to our kids about how important it is to be themselves. Help them embrace why they are special and unique. Discuss the issues with social media and how important it is to be transparent and own who God designed them to be.  Conversations like this are not always easy but so very important.

My parents always told me to be myself growing up. Nowadays, that takes much more effort because of social media. Kids and teens need more time alone without screens to use their imagination and reflect on what makes them happy. Time to figure out who they are. Social media is taking over many teen’s lives, it’s time to take control and look within ourselves instead of comparing ourself to others. 

Thanks for sharing this article with others. 

Cheers!

Two Great Video Resources About Being Authentic