How to be more authentic in a fake world
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How and why to Be More Authentic In a Fake World-19 Ways To Get Real

“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”

Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection



Authenticity is immensely valued more than ever these days. We are surrounded by fake news and social media facades. Think about it. Many are so caught up following the crowd they have become consumed by it. Being our own authentic self may feel precarious when you want to fit in, be accepted, and liked by others. 

Based on living in a fake world, we all crave transparency and authenticity in general because we seek the truth. Our current political and social climate, in particular, encourages us to root for honesty in brands, organizations, government, news, and people. 

We have outlined how and why we need to get real and be our authentic self.  


Millennials, in particular, struggle with identifying with authenticity because so much time goes into curating the perfect share-worthy social media post. Consumed with procreating their own’ ideal self,’ not their own ‘real-self.’

As a result, the image projected (on social media) is how we think we should be perceived and not who we are. I believe humans would rather be themselves than wander around wearing a mask, but it takes mindfulness and self-reflection to take the necessary steps to become transparent. It’s up to us to be authentic, it’s a choice. 

Based on this, we have identified nineteen ways you can be more authentic, transparent and the best version of yourself by making conscious choices every day. 

When we open the door for us to be seen, and not worry so much about how we are perceived, it starts to build a foundation for inner strength. Hey, it’s not easy to let down our guard. It takes lots of courage and strength for us to open up and show our vulnerable side to people. But when we do, others begin to see our authentic selves.

When you can show your vulnerability, you can develop deep relationships. With every personal exchange and interaction, we have the opportunity to enjoy connecting with others. 

Happy woman enjoying in the nature

Research suggests that more authentic people are happier

When we can be more vulnerable, we are more likely to be happy. As you would expect, research has determined that more authentic people are more comfortable?

In one study, researchers found that people who scored higher on a measure of authentic living reported greater happiness, more positive emotions, and higher self-esteem than people who reported being less authentic. More authentic people also reported having better relationships with others and more personal growth. 

How would you describe authenticity?

For me, an authentic person is comfortable, transparent, and easy to talk to. They look directly into your eyes, and their smile is genuine. This type of person is not afraid to be vulnerable. When you are with this person, it feels similar to throwing a warm cozy blanket around your naked shoulders as you immediately exhale and relax. 

You can rely on this person to be consistent each time you meet. This type of person is often described as “real” and “the salt of the earth.” 

Authentic self


1. Be Be Mindful And Live In The Present

Authentic people set time aside to meditate, pray and or reflect so they can embrace life more fully. Authentic people are mindful and take things moment by moment. Understand that life is struggle so make the most of our short lives here.

2. Be More Bold

Don’t be timid to Convey Your Point Of View in a dignified manner. Even if your opinion varies from others, be open and discuss your view and be open minded.

3. Listen To Your Gut

People who are authentic listen to their inner self and are not driven by external circumstances. Be true to yourself.

4. Appreciate Your Character Traits As Well As Others

Appreciating your own unique traits and qualities, as well as recognizing and valuing the individual traits of others, is a wonderful way to promote positivity, inclusivity, and understanding.

Embracing diversity and celebrating the things that make each person special fosters a sense of belonging and respect in any community. By appreciating both ourselves and others, we can create a more compassionate and harmonious world where everyone feels valued and accepted for who they are.

5. Walk Your Talk 

Authentic people are high-character individuals who don’t just “talk the talk,” they also “walk the walk.”  So with that in mind, back up your positive, words with actions.Be true to yourself and do what you say you’re going to do. make a genuine effort to follow through on commitments. If you can’t do something, just say no. You don’t want to be known as flaky.

6. Don’t Gossip- Ask Candid Questions

This requires keen emotional intelligence. Be kind and help others. When you help others, it fills your soul. When you have compassion for others, you will develop a deeper soul.

Being open and candid makes you more authentic because it involves expressing your true thoughts, emotions, and beliefs without pretense or hiding behind a facade. Here’s why openness contributes to authenticity:

Honesty: Being open and candid means being honest with yourself and others. It allows you to communicate your genuine feelings and opinions, promoting transparency and authenticity in your interactions.

When you’re open and candid, you let go of any masks or pretenses you might have. You show up as your true self, allowing others to see and connect with the real you.

Openness often involves vulnerability, which is an essential aspect of authenticity. It takes courage to be open about your emotions and experiences, fostering genuine connections with others.

Being open and candid encourages authentic connections with others. By sharing your authentic self, you create a safe space for others to do the same, leading to deeper and more meaningful relationships.

Embracing openness means accepting your imperfections and being comfortable with your vulnerabilities. It shows that you are human and not trying to portray a flawless image.

Openness fosters trust in relationships. When you’re honest and candid, people feel they can rely on you and confide in you, strengthening the authenticity of your connections.

Multiracial women with different skin color - Concept of friendship and happiness

7. Don’t Be Passive Aggressive

How do you know when you are passive aggressive? Do you often find yourself sulking when you are unhappy with someone else? Do you avoid people with whom you are upset?Do you ever stop talking to people when you are angry at them?Do you put off doing things as a way to punish others?Do you sometimes use sarcasm to avoid engaging in meaningful conversations?

8. Admit When You Are Wrong

 Authentic people do not judge others for making mistakes because they know very well that everyone makes mistakes. Recognize mistakes are to be learned from and are a precious tool for success.

9.  Value Experiences In life Over Material Things  

  • Mindful Living: Focus on being present and savoring each moment. Engage in activities that bring joy and meaningful connections with others.
  • Collect Memories: Instead of accumulating possessions, collect memories through travel, adventures, or trying new things.
  • Prioritize Relationships: Spend quality time with loved ones and build strong, meaningful connections with them.
  • Embrace Simplicity: Simplify your life and minimize material possessions. Focus on what truly matters to you.
  • Practice Gratitude: Be grateful for the experiences and opportunities life offers. Appreciate the moments that bring joy and growth.
  • Value Self-Reflection: Reflect on the impact experiences have on your well-being and personal growth.
  • Document Memories: Capture experiences through photographs or journals to cherish and revisit later.
  • Give Experiences as Gifts: Instead of material presents, consider gifting experiences to loved ones for lasting memories.
Young woman leaning against car door talking to a woman driver, friends

10. Be A Good Listener

If you listen closely, you will learn something new about someone and will become fascinated and interested in everybody’s distinctions.

Listening to others makes you more authentic because it encourages empathy, understanding, and genuine connections. Here’s how it contributes to authenticity:

  • Embracing Different Perspectives: When you actively listen to others, you are open to hearing different perspectives and viewpoints. This openness allows you to broaden your understanding and embrace diversity, enriching your authenticity.
  • Respect for Others: Listening demonstrates respect for others’ thoughts, feelings, and experiences. It shows that you value their authenticity and are willing to engage in meaningful conversations without judgment.
  • Empathy and Compassion: Through active listening, you can empathize with others’ emotions and experiences. This empathy fosters genuine connections, creating a safe space for people to be authentic and vulnerable.
  • Building Trust: Being a good listener builds trust in your relationships. When others feel heard and understood, they are more likely to trust you and be authentic in return.
  • Being Present: Listening requires being present in the moment, which allows you to connect deeply with others. It fosters authentic interactions by showing that you genuinely care about what they have to say.
  • Learning from Others: Listening to others’ stories and experiences provides valuable opportunities for personal growth and learning. You gain insights that can enrich your own understanding of life and authenticity.
  • Enhancing Communication: Effective listening improves communication, leading to clearer and more authentic exchanges. It encourages open and honest conversations that support authentic expression.
  • Being Vulnerable: Encouraging others to share their thoughts and feelings can also inspire you to be more vulnerable and authentic in your own communication.
  • Strengthening Relationships: Authentic relationships thrive on active listening. It creates a sense of emotional connection and mutual respect, enhancing the authenticity of your interactions with others.
  • Accepting Imperfections: By listening to others, you realize that everyone has their own struggles and imperfections. This awareness can help you embrace your own authenticity and be more accepting of yourself.

14.  Don’t  Judge Others

Look beyond the external facade of words and appearances.

Not judging people makes us more likeable and authentic for several reasons:

  • Empathy and Understanding: When we refrain from judging others, we show empathy and understanding towards their perspectives, feelings, and experiences. This genuine concern for others’ well-being fosters authentic connections and makes us more approachable and likable.
  • Non-Threatening Presence: Not judging creates a non-threatening presence that makes people feel comfortable around us. They can be themselves without fear of criticism or judgment, leading to more authentic interactions.
  • Positive Energy: Being non-judgmental promotes a positive and accepting energy. People are naturally drawn to those who radiate positivity, making us more likeable and approachable.
  • Open-Mindedness: Non-judgmental individuals are often perceived as open-minded and receptive to different ideas and beliefs. This openness encourages honest conversations and contributes to our authenticity.
  • Respect for Individuality: When we don’t judge others, we demonstrate respect for their individuality and unique life experiences. This respect fosters an atmosphere of authenticity and inclusivity.
  • Supportive Environment: A non-judgmental approach creates a supportive environment where people feel valued and accepted for who they are. This sense of support enhances likeability and encourages authenticity in interactions.

15.  Don’t Complain 

  • When we refrain from complaining, we take responsibility for our emotions and reactions. Instead of blaming external factors, we acknowledge our feelings and seek constructive ways to address them, which aligns with authenticity.
  • Positive Mindset: Choosing not to complain fosters a more positive mindset. It allows us to focus on solutions and gratitude, promoting a genuine and optimistic outlook on life.
  • Authentic Expression: Holding back from complaining encourages us to express ourselves authentically and constructively. We can communicate our feelings and concerns openly and honestly without resorting to negativity.

Take full responsibility for your life. Own it!

16.  Work Hard To Build Your Self-Esteem

If you do, you will appear confident because you have nothing to hide and people will trust you more.

Building your self-esteem makes you a more authentic person because it allows you to embrace and express your true self without seeking validation or approval from others. Here’s how it contributes to authenticity:

  • Self-Acceptance: When you have a healthy level of self-esteem, you accept and appreciate yourself, including your strengths and weaknesses. This self-acceptance fosters honesty about who you are, leading to a more authentic expression of yourself.
  • Less Need for Approval: With higher self-esteem, you rely less on external validation and are more secure in your decisions and beliefs. You become less inclined to conform to others’ expectations and can confidently stay true to your values and identity.
  • Openness and Vulnerability: Authenticity involves being open and vulnerable about your thoughts and emotions. Building self-esteem helps you feel more comfortable with vulnerability, allowing you to share your true feelings and experiences with others.
  • Setting Boundaries: People with higher self-esteem are more likely to set and maintain boundaries in their relationships. This includes saying no when necessary and prioritizing their own needs and values. This assertiveness promotes authenticity in interpersonal interactions.
  • Resilience to Criticism: With a solid sense of self-worth, you are better equipped to handle criticism and judgment from others. You are less likely to be swayed by negative opinions, enabling you to stay true to yourself even in challenging situations.
  • Authentic Connections: Building self-esteem fosters more genuine connections with others. As you value and respect yourself, you also value and respect others for their true selves, leading to more authentic and meaningful relationships.
Young women helping each other
Young women helping each other

17.  Always Be Thinking About What you Can Do For Others

 Helping others makes you feel better about yourself. Act like a female elephant. What? Yes, female elephants take care of the entire herd.  Read more about these incredible animals here. 

18.  Be Forgiving

Let go of all negative thoughts and anger and don’t hold grudges. It’s hard, but it’s worth it.

Don’t Get Agitated When Someone Dislikes You. Just allow others to form whatever opinions they wish to have. We will never click with everyone and thats okay.

19. Put Away Your Phone

Nothing turns someone off to you like a mid-conversation text message or even a quick glance at your phone. When genuine people commit to a conversation, they focus all of their energy on the conversation. So have good eye contact with the person you are talking to.


As humans, we recognize a sincere smile as opposed to a polite smile or gesture. Ultimately, humans are drawn to authenticity, making us feel comfortable, safe, connected, and respected. These particular types of people have more friends. It makes sense, right? 

There are 39 signs of a true friend and a person who is authentic and transparent is one of those key characteristics. 

Being characterized by someone as ‘the salt of the earth’ is a magnificent compliment… it means that you are regarded as open and unpretentious. The expression is a Biblical in origin (Mathew 5:14), and it is believed that the use of ‘salt’ in the expression is a reference to the value of salt, which was quite a valued commodity back then. Also, adding salt to something adds seasoning and flavor. 

Wouldn’t it be nice to be known as authentic, real, transparent, and ‘salt of the earth’? Being authentic is a personal trait that takes time to evolve. Because developing emotional intelligence is a slow process.

What is emotional intelligence?

So what is emotional intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the ability to identify, use, understand, and manage emotions in an effective and positive way. A high EQ helps individuals to communicate better, reduce their anxiety and stress, defuse conflicts, improve relationships, empathize with others, and effectively overcome life’s challenges. 

Since developing emotional intelligence takes time, so does becoming more authentic. It doesn’t happen overnight.  It’s actually a lifetime process. As we age, we learn to cherish who we are. We develop informed ideas about life. The more life struggles we have, the more we can appreciate the blessings in life. 

For Most Humans, Our Authentic Self Is Buried within our unconscious

I can totally relate to that. The older I become the less I care about what people think about me. In fact, I rarely ever spend time thinking about what others think of me anymore at all, thank God! 

Learning to love ourselves is part of the process towards being more authentic. None of us are close to being perfect, but we all have the ability to remove any pretenses and facades from our repertoires. It takes focus, effort, compassion and empathy to do this but it is absolutely feasible.  

For most humans, our authentic self is buried within our unconscious. It is our goal to look within to identify who we really are. It takes time and it takes digging to identify who we are. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, that’s what makes the world special. 


In order to identify your authenticity, Tchiki Davis, Ph.D. says it’s critical to discover your “Authentic Self”—the self that prioritizes living according to your values, pursuing your purpose, and fighting for the causes you care about.  

What if maybe, just maybe everyone would learn to embrace who they are, to be open and free about sharing their vulnerabilities and appreciating the differences in others? What if everyone was honest and open-minded and genuinely took time to care for others? 

Wouldn’t that be something if we all felt more connected with one another?  We all would be the much better versions of our own authentic self! Remember it’s a choice we can all make, so let’s all show up and be real! 

There is 9 everyday ways to practice self care  and give yourself more self love girls.   

“Go and love someone exactly as they are. Then, watch how they transform into the greatest versions of themselves.”

Wez Angelozzi

What can we do as parents?

As a parent, I feel it’s critical to talk to our kids about how important it is to be themselves. Help them embrace why they are special and unique. Discuss the issues with social media and how important it is to be transparent and own who God designed them to be.  Conversations like this are not always easy but so very important.

My parents always told me to be myself growing up. Nowadays, that takes much more effort because of social media. Kids and teens need more time alone without screens to use their imagination and reflect on what makes them happy. Time to figure out who they are. Social media is taking over many teen’s lives, it’s time to take control and look within ourselves instead of comparing ourself to others. 

Thanks for sharing this article with others. 

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